A Way of Living - Emptying Out

A Way of Living - Emptying Out

I met a man once on the road, he wanted to die. It seemed his life was filled with pain and tension, he could feel nothing else. He told me his spirit had left and he was broken. I wept, and met my own sense of helplessness. I thought to myself how can I serve this man?

I ask this question to myself and others every day, everywhere I look there is pain and suffering just under the surface of a smiling face. Our society, our world has become so confused, so consumed, so lost; it’s hard to believe, harder still to be sane, to love deeply, softly and gently.

We live in a world driven by consumerism, greed and the empty promise of temporary happiness. But this is not for everyone.

For many of us there is another way to live, a healthier way, not one we have been fed by society or taught in schools but one we have learned through engaging with life, with its joys and with its pains.

It is not about consuming or attaining more and more but rather a process of surrender, of letting go. It is not about finding answers seeking to understand everything, but asking questions, allowing ourselves to be led deeper and deeper into the mystery and wonder of living.

Everyday I ask myself the question ‘What can I empty out today? What can I let go of?’ so I can be free to experience the freedom, the joy and the connectedness that life offers. Sometimes it’s my worry, sometimes it’s my hurt, other times it’s simply my need for my mind to understand everything. But every time I empty out, and let go of even the smallest thing it has a profound and deep impact on the quality of my day.

I empty out all my emotions, the shame, the guilt, the sadness, the anger, whatever presents itself. I empty out all my thoughts, my worries, the tasks of the day, my past. I let go of all the roles I play, the teacher , the son, the Irishman, the writer, the wounded healer, the friend. I let go of all outcomes and expectations of my day, how I believe things should be or how people should behave or respond to me. I let go of trying to please others, of looking for meaning, of validating myself in any way.

I let go of the feeling deep in my belly that something is wrong with me for simply being human. The greatest fear is that if I let go completely there will be nothing, I will just be an empty shell adrift on the ocean. Yet when I empty out that fear it takes me to another place in my awareness.

It is a place where the world is not longer black and white, good or evil, empty or full. Instead it becomes shades of contrasts, the variety and subtleness of everything becomes a joy to behold. I am free to love, to experience life in its fullness, to recognise the basic humanness in everyone and everything I encounter.

And as I encounter the man at the side of the road I can sit with him and share his brokenness with my own without needing to fix it.